Being a single never married 47 year old without children and much closer to 50 then I want to be, the holidays just do not have the same appeal for me as they did when I was much younger.
Recently, I have felt that holidays are more enjoyable if you are married, have a boyfriend, girlfriend or have children. It has started to feel as a single person that one is just invited along as an afterthought or that relatives feel guilty if your at home alone on a holiday? On the flip side I have a friend who relatives are all divorced who go to holidays & only 1 person is married. In my family everyone is married except me so I always feel that I have no one to talk to, they are always busy talking with there spouses or with there kids and I am just there and many times no one talks to me.
Has it always been this way, or am I just more cognizant of this with the loss of way too many friends younger then me or my age from cancer or other diseases?
Do I feel this way because I no longer work and have to battle daily with all my health issues and my serious financial insecurity?
Lately, I feel that people who know me treat me differently, perceive me as being lazy and just not wanting to work like they do. Those who do not know me, think I am normal when they see me at the support group.
My goal is to try and not end up in a wheelchair along with doing whatever I can to prevent from becoming a diabetic. To accomplish this, I have been following a low glycemic way of eating, decreased foods that cause inflammation and pain, decreased gluten, increased lean proteins, vegetable and fruits, decreased carbs and sugars.
The other way to prevent diabetes is exercise and losing weight. I have a free scholarship to the wellness center affiliated with the hospital where most of my doctors are on staff. I have been going there and doing water classes in the warm water therapy pool, riding the recumbent bike, movements in the warm pool on my own, tried some machine with weights. Some modified Yoga classes at the Cancer Carer Center. It seems to be a never ending battle, if I exercise to strenuously or do the movements and other activities in the same day then I am in pain for days and have difficulty getting out of bed. On the flip side, then I have days where if I don't get in the pool, or do a few yoga movements then I can barely move either and have difficulties just walking, cooking and other activities.
My goal in January 2009 was to lose 70LBS. I lost 30LBS but then medication caused me to gain it all back. Fast forward July 2009 and a new adrenal tumor developed. Because of this I was not allowed to exercise for 6 1/2 months which carried over into January 2010. Jan 2010 I started out the year 2LBS heavier then before my weight loss quest started Jan 2009. So Jan 2010 came and my goal was to lose 72LBS for the year.
I was doing great but then Feb 2010 new health issues surfaced which caused me to not work out again till May. I had some health setbacks in Aug - Nov 2010. Here it is November 2010 and I have only re-lost 28lbs. On the plus side, now I only need to lose 52lbs to weigh less then I did in 1996 when my Cancer Odyssey and my health decline started.
I have a feeling it will take me another year or more to be able to lose this?